Why I gave up being an artist…but now I’m back.

If you’ve been following my work for a while on social media, you’ll know that I started a new job in April last year at our church in Cambridge. At the beginning of October I came down with a heavy cold, which triggered an M.E. relapse. Initially signed off for a few weeks, then attempted a phased return to work through November, only to be signed off for the whole of December. 

If you follow my art pages you'll know I announced that I was stopping my art practice to focus fully on getting back to the day job. I deleted my Facebook art page and YouTube channel, deactivated my Instagram art page, and thought I'd be back at work in the New year.

That was a bit premature....

Over Christmas it became clear this relapse is a long one: three months in and getting worse, so a decision was made - and I really believe it's the right one - to resign from my job.

So I'm back to square one just as I was in 2015 when I had to leave my job with the National Trust, but I'm in a better position as I know what to expect. I am also realistic about improving, or not. One day at a time.

I had mistakenly thought I'd recovered from M.E., but I've been humbled by it and thinking my previous plans are the right ones. 

M.E. is for life, and we've got to get used to me not being able to do all that I'd like to do.

I've had people say how disappointing it is - but please know that it's ok, we'll be alright and I'm not disappointed, just a little discombobulated by the sudden turn of events. I'm feeling a bit stupid by everything I said before Christmas so I'm sorry if you're struggling to keep up.....so am I.